Destiny's Star
by Kerensky's Hope
Summary: The tale of Star Captain Axunari Kabrinski, as he journeys from mere cadet to a Warrior in Clan Ghost Bear's elite Third Bear Guards. Please read and review! Massive revisions and updates!
1. Prologue

_Author's Notes: This is the story of my primary Battletech character, Star Captain Axunari Kabrinski. It was originally intended to be a collaborative effort, but after many delays and pauses, I just decided to continue and finish the story myself. Updates will come as soon as I find the time to write them and when I get the urge to write._

_Yes, I'm well aware that there will be mistakes regarding events and technical issues, but if you're that picky, loosen up. :P _

_Anyways, enjoy the read, please leave some reviews, and so forth. A writer lives or dies depending on the feedback he receives. :)  
_

**Bearclaw  
The Kerensky Cluster**

Though the temperature was well below freezing, the clear night sky and gentle winds made for a rather pleasant evening. Countless pinpricks of light dotted the black void, and a swirl of glowing dots marked the edge of the Caliban Nebula. Strana Mechty's single moon glowed brightly off towards the west, hovering above the bright lights of the Ghost Bear compound.

A brief gust of wind, its payload of light snow scattering across the white field, caused Axunari to shiver, and the new Ghost Bear warrior wrapped his cloak tighter around himself. His gaze remained fixed upon a rising star, the white globe soaring over the compound. From the way the star moved and its flickering tail, Axunari knew it was an ascending DropShip, and not a natural ball of burning gas.

The warrior took a deep breath of the cold air and sighed, letting his breath gather around his head in a small puff of condensed moisture. His body ached and his cheek still burned from where a jet of molten glass had seared it. But these physical discomforts were really nothing compared to the turmoil spinning in his mind.

He wasn't sure why he felt so down. Hours ago, he had emerged victorious from the grueling three-on-one duel that made up his graduation exam. Not only did he pass, but also he had managed two kills, guaranteeing him an officer position in whatever frontline unit he so chose. And yet, despite his obvious success, Axunari couldn't feel anything but shame. After all, he had lost to that final _Hellbringer._

Another DropShip lit up the night sky, though this one's drive flare burned bright as it descended on nuclear fire. Axunari's eyes followed the ball of light, but his minded was replaying his Trial of Position, going over the details of what had essentially been a failure.

His first opponent, a 20-ton _Fire Moth_ had been dispatched fairly easily. Even the heavier _Viper_ didn't prove to be much trouble. But his final opponent, a _Hellbringer_ bristling with weapons, ended his Trial. The heavy 'Mech came in with weapons blazing, and in the first volley of fire, Ax had been knocked out. Try as he might, the Ghost Bear couldn't remember what had happened after that first burst of particle cannon fire. He knew his opponent's lasers had slashed into his cockpit, but after that, he couldn't remember.

Axunari sighed, his face burning with shame from his defeat to the _Hellbringer_. The battle ROMs indicated he hadn't even managed a salvo of return fire. The knowledge that he had so disgraced his blood heritage almost caused him to vomit. _Failure. Dishonorable surat._

The sound of snow crunching underfoot broke his reverie, and Axunari tensed before identifying the soft footsteps as belonging to his sibmate Jeana. She stepped up to his right and laid a gloved hand on his shoulder. "You are a hard person to find, Baloo," she said looking up at his eyes.

Ax did not return her look, but only shifted his gaze to the snow-covered ground. "This is true," he muttered, not bothering to give any real response.

"What is wrong?" She shook his shoulder to get his attention, but he refused to meet her eyes. "You scored two kills in your Trial, an astounding feat. What is bothering you?" When he didn't respond, she took a step back and forcefully grabbed his chin to raise his face to hers. "You are kicking yourself for not beating that _Hellbringer_, quineg? Listen, Baloo. Do not be so tough on yourself. There was no way you could have even scratched that 'Mech's paint. It is enough that you killed two 'Mechs."

"No, it is not," Baloo muttered. He jerked his head from her grip, again looking up into the sky. "It's not that scoring two kills does not mean anything to me. I know it is good. But, without that third kill, it just seems I did nothing. I just barely made it. I am a disgrace."

The blow came completely unexpected, and rocketed Axunari to the ground. He quickly rolled to his feet and clutched at his cheek, tasting blood in his mouth. "What the hell was that!" he exclaimed as he glared at Jeana. She hadn't slapped him, he realized, but had instead slugged him. "What was that for?"

"That was to knock some sense into you." Jeana's eyes burned with fury, but they quickly softened, and she knelt to help him to his feet. "Listen, Baloo, you need to stop being so hard on yourself. You are a good warrior, and no matter what other people or Umar have said, it is true." She sighed and wiped a trickle of blood from his mouth. "Do you remember years ago when we had that exercise to capture the flag? Our team was pinned down but you came up with that daring plan and it worked. You see? You do not give yourself enough credit."

Axunari was unconvinced and now his jaw ached. "I do not know. Doing something stupid like that does not really prove that I am a good warrior."

"Ax, you know that you are a good warrior. Most cadets do not even survive this long. And when they do, most washout without a single kill." He could hear the frustration in her reply, for they had this conversation many times. Jeana paused, as if considering what she would say. "You know, we have spoken about this many times, and you and I both know I cannot convince you of your skills. The fact is, you scored two points, and that gives you your choice of assignments. Where will you be posted?"

Axunari briefly smiled, glad that Jeana had changed the subject. "I am considering challenging for a star in the Third Guard." At Jean's look of surprise, he quickly added, "I know it is ambitious, but I am going for it. I think I can redeem myself if I succeed."

His sibmate nodded and returned his smile. "Then go for it. I will support you and follow you to the ilKhan's Shield."

The aching in his jaw gradually faded, and Axunari wrapped an arm around Jeana as the two continued to watch the myriad ocean of stars. As the DropShips soared up into space and back down to earth, Ax knew that his destiny belonged in the stars.


	2. Chapter 1

**WarShip _Dieron's Run_ ****  
****Tokasha System ****  
****The Kerensky Cluster, Clan Space**

The technician brought the cart to a stop and jumped out to key in the code to open the door. The portal hissed open, and the man beckoned Axunari to follow him into the room. As he did so, another member of the technician caste began unloading the few cases that contained the Bear warrior's meager belongings.

"Star commander, here are you quarters." The tech flipped a wall-switch, bringing on some lights in an adjoining room. "As per your rank, you have been allocated a suite. Your quarters include a basic food prep unit and shower, as well as the normal room."

Axunari nodded, impressed at the luxuries of his accommodation. These were definitely an upgrade compared to the cadet barracks. Those were little more than dilapidated huts, frames with some metal siding to theoretically keep the elements out. "As they say, 'Rank hath its privileges.'"

"Yes, sir," the tech replied as the other one entered with Ax's luggage. "Will you be needing assistance with unpacking?"

Ax answered with a shake of his head. "Neg, that will be all." As the techs turned to leave, he hesitated and quickly stopped them with a gesture. "One second. Please send notice to my star that I would like to meet with them in Lounge Four in, say, twenty minutes." 

"As you wish, Commander."

As the techs departed, Axunari looked around his quarters. To the left of the door sat the fairly nondescript bed with cabinets underneath the frame. A desk and computer occupied the opposite wall, while an archway led to the bathroom and food preparation unit. Yes, Ax thought, this was a definite improvement to the barracks he had known for most of his life.

He sat on the mattress and rubbed at his eyes. The transit from the training facility on Bearclaw to the _Dieron's Run_ had been uneventful. He had spent the several-day-trip going over the various bureaucratic details following his ascension to command. His score on his graduation test had allowed him to take the command slot left open after its previous holder was killed in a raid, netting him command over a star in the Third Bear Guards.

One of the first things he needed to do as the new commander of Bravo Assault Star of the Third Bear Guard's 219th Assault Trinary, Ax decided, was to get to the know the other four members of his star. Granted, Jeana had been attached to his unit and he knew her so well from the years of cadet training, so that only left two other fellow warriors to meet, if he counted Theron. Theron was from his sibko, but he aloof Mechwarrior had never been very close with Jeana or Axunari. The Ghost Bears by nature were a close-knit Clan, meaning he needed to start working on forming bonds with his star mates. And that would be the nature of the upcoming mini-briefing.

Axunari sighed, already starting to doubt his decision to command the star. He still wasn't sure how he had been able to pass his Trial of Position. Starting with nightmares of combat, his training had been plagued with setbacks. Despite having been completely alienated from his sibko, he somehow had not only escaped washing out but also attained two kills in his Trial. But, those few successes he chalked up to fortune, and that was unacceptable. _I need to redeem my honor, to be responsible for my own rise, no more reliance on luck. I need more than just command of a star._

The chronometer installed in the bulkhead flashed, indicating that it was time to meet his star mates. The new commander let out a final dejected sigh and headed towards Lounge Four. As he stepped through the automatic doors, a solution to his problem occurred to him. _I need a Bloodname._ And that, he knew, would redeem his honor.

☼☼☼ 

The doors to the lounge hissed open, and Axunari stepped into the room. The lounge was sparsely furnished, utilitarian in what amenities it did have. A set of cabinets and a zero-G sink lined the opposite bulkhead, while a simple metal table occupied the center. A line of steel chairs, all bolted to the floor, surrounded the table. 

A single man already occupied the room, Ax saw, and he quickly identified the red-haired warrior as a member of Bravo Assault. The warrior's codex reported a fairly long combat history of seven years, and even an attempt at a Bloodname. "Mechwarrior Lucrezus?" Axunari asked as he approached.

Lucrezus stood and sketched a salute before shaking Ax's outstretched hand. "That is right, I am Lucrezus."

"And I am Star Commander Axunari." The officer slipped into a chair opposite of Lucrezus, but still facing the entrance of the lounge. "Have a seat, Mechwarrior Lucrezus. We will give our fellow trothkin a few minutes before starting."

The other warrior nodded and sat, and several minutes of awkward silence followed as they waited for the rest of the star to show up. The pause stretched on, and Ax glanced at the chronometer mounted in the bulkhead several times until, finally, the door hissed open to reveal the remainder of Bravo Assault.

The first to enter was Jeana, who possessed a similar appearance to Ax. They were descendant of the same gene-parents, after all. She did look fairly pissed though, and Ax could guess what had happened. _She probably defended my honor. Again._ However, despite the fury on her face, Jeana's mood visibly improved when she caught sight of him. Ax returned her smile, and she quickly moved to his right side.

Following Jeana was Theron, the final surviving member of Ax's sibko. Theron was reclusive by nature, so neither Ax nor Jeana had grown especially close to him. But, then again, they were sibkin and Clan, and so had shared many harsh times together. Like Jeana, he had scored a single kill during his Trial of Position, but unlike either Ax or Jeana, his kill had resulted in the death of the opposing pilot. Theron gave Ax a curt nod before quickly taking up position against a far bulkhead and watching the group with eyes reminiscent of his namesake.

After several more minutes, the final member of Bravo Assault Star appeared. From the bruising on his forehead and split lip, it was fairly obvious whom Jeana had fought earlier. Miguel fixed his glare on Ax, and the raw hatred burning in his eyes almost made Ax wince. The older Mechwarrior opted to not join the group at the table, and instead leaned against a cabinet.

Forcing into his voice a confidence he did not feel, Ax stood and planted his hands on the steel tabletop. "Good afternoon everyone. As you all know, I am Star Commander Axunari, and I am here to replace the late Star Commander Reinhart. I am also aware of how uncharacteristic it is for an unproven warrior to enter an elite unit such as the Third, but I assure you that I will live up to the Shield's reputation. Now that I have introduced myself, how about you guys do the same?" He nodded at Lucrezus. "Mechwarrior Lucrezus, you may start."

"I am Lucrezus, Mechwarrior and formerly Point Two under Commander Reinhart. I also maintained positions in two Stars prior to this one." And that was all. Lucrezus ended his very brief introduction with a slight nod of his head.

"Thank you, Lucrezus," Axunari replied. "Your codex reinforces your proud battle heritage. It is good to have a seasoned warrior amongst us." He turned towards his sibmate and gave her a nod. "Jeana, it is your turn."

Jeana returned his nod with a smile, though that quickly turned into a glare when she shifted her gaze towards Miguel. "I do not have much to say. Like Star Commander Axunari, I am just out of the sibko. I tested out with one kill, and this will be my first assignment." She looked finished, but quickly added, "And I have fought and won many Circle of Equals, as you all might know."

"I see." Axunari was unsure of the animosity between Jeana and Miguel, but he knew he had to address it. _I will talk to Jeana later._ "Theron, please introduce yourself." 

Theron straightened up his posture and answered in the familiar, emotionless voice of his. "I am the final surviving member of our sibko. Like Jeana, I scored one kill during my test, but I killed my opponent. I look forward to meeting the Clan's enemies on the field of battle."

Before Axunari could thank Theron, Miguel barked out a harsh laugh. "I am Miguel, one of the two non-green warriors in this star. I need not introduce myself. My codex is evidence enough of my prowess." Jeana scoffed at this claim, prompting a withering glare from her star mate. "Enough! I do not need to prove myself to sibko brats." His face flushing red with anger, Miguel stormed from the lounge.

The Star commander sighed and shuffled some of the papers he held. "Well then, I am sure Miguel will return. Anyways, with the introductions out of the way, I only have some 'Mech assignments I would like to review. With the recent combat losses, the quartermaster has seen fit to replace Reinhart's original 'Mech with an older _Kodiak_, and a _Timber Wolf_ is replacing one of our _Warhawk_s. Lucrezus, you will continue to pilot your _Mad Dog_, while Miguel will continue with his _Kingfisher_. Theron, you will take our remaining _Warhawk_, while Jeana will pilot the _Timber Wolf_. That leaves me the _Kodiak_."

Axunari nodded at the three other warriors. "That is all I have. I know this was not much of a meeting, but I wanted to get some introductions out of the way. I will schedule some simulator runs with the rest of the trinary. If there is nothing else, you are all dismissed." Theron and Lucrezus filed out of the room quickly and Jeana turned to follow, but Ax stayed her. "Jeana, wait. What happened with Miguel?"

Irritation flashed across Jeana's face. "That stravag had the nerve to badmouth you while I was in the area. His words carried no bite, and I kicked his ass hard."

"I see, I see." Axunari led Jeana out of Lounge Four, and the two continued down one of the _Cameron_-class WarShip's long hallways. "I hope you did not hurt him too severely?"

She shook her head, the look of distaste still on her face. "Neg, Miguel's skull is too thick to be hurt easily." Jeana halted and turned towards her sibmate. "What is it, Baloo? You have not taken such interest in my Circles since the first time years ago."

The Star commander shrugged. "Many things are on my mind," he said, then stopped.

"Like what?" Jeana asked, prompting Ax to continue.

"Well, like I need to earn a Bloodname, to really make my name significant." As soon as he said that, Ax knew it sounded foolish. Bloodnames were the surnames of the 800 warriors loyal to Nicholas Kerensky, Founder of the Clans. They were passed to worthy wearers after a grueling series of duels, and those allowed to carry such a title were among the Clans' elite. However, Clan warriors didn't shoot for a Bloodname for fame, because such an honorary alone did not grant glory. Rather, it was each individual's combat history and heroics that would build his legend. "It is just that my place here was based on so much luck and not my own skill. A Bloodname will show that I do not need to rely on chance."

The frown on Jeana's face disappeared, to be replaced by a smile. "Baloo, luck and fortune are a warrior's greatest asset. Do you not know the saying, 'It is better to be lucky than good'? You cannot just get rid of luck. And, besides, we have just reached our first assignment. We have yet to see combat. Do not worry about a Bloodname, your time will come."

"I know, I know, but I cannot help but think that others will not see me as a real warrior without one." The Ghost Bear sighed, wishing not for the first time that he had the confidence his sibmates had. "How do you deal with this? This Bloodname thing? I know you want one."

"I do," Jeana replied, "but I am also patient. Like I said, we have not seen combat yet. We have not had a chance to prove ourselves, so why should I worry about a Bloodname just yet? The time will come." She peered closely at his eyes. "But, this is not all, is it? What else is bothering you?"

Ax had to smile at that; Jeana knew him so well. "This other thing has been eating at me ever since the Trial of Position. I have not decided what to do for my Great Work." The Great Work was a piece of art or other form of expression to demonstrate dedication to a long-term work or cause, and each Ghost Bear warrior was expected to begin his Great Work as soon as he came of age. "It's been a week since the Trial, and I still have not begun."

"It is fine, Baloo. Yes, tradition says we should start this Work right after the Trial, but you have started. You are considering ideas, right? That is a start."

"But, it is taking far too long," Ax interrupted.

"Yes, yes, but remember what the Work represents? Long-term goals. Commitments. It is normal for such a project to take time to begin." Jeana laid a reassuring hand on Ax's shoulder. "Do not try to rush such things. Take some time, and when the moment presents itself, you will know."

Axunari reached up and took Jeana's hand in his, gently rubbing her slender fingers. "You always were the wisest one in the sibko. But what of your work? What have you decided on?" 

Jeana shrugged and let out a quiet chuckle. "To be honest, I have not decided yet. Like you, I have been searing, but I have not found the right subject." She glanced at her watch and sighed, gently pulling her hand free. "Sorry, Baloo, but I have to report for some other duties. If I am free, perhaps we could meet over dinner?"

"That will be fine. Until then, Jeana." Ax waved his sibmate goodbye and watched her retreating form. What Jeana said was true, he knew, and he tried to take heart in what she had said. But despite her reassurances, there was still that nagging hole in his heart, beckoning him into the abyss of failure.


	3. Chapter 3

**Industriplex Alpha, Niles  
The Kerensky Cluster  
26 May 3046**

With blood streaming down an open wound that ran from his right ear to his chin, Axunari threw himself forward against the restraining straps, letting his own sense of balance re-orient the _Kodiak _he was piloting. The 100-ton monster stumbled forward against the furious barrage of laser and missile fire, and through the shattered forward shield, the gaping maw of the offending Mars assault vehicle's class-10 autocannon swung into view and blossomed fire. Ten-centimeter slugs tipped in depleted uranium tracked across the _Kodiak_'s upper torso.

Spitting blood onto the decking beneath his feet, the Ghost Bear dropped the flickering targeting reticule over the Hell's Horse tank. His battle computer, suffering from damage and elevated heat levels, couldn't give him a solid lock, but at this range he'd have to be either incredibly incompetent or unlucky to miss. His own autocannon, an Ultra-class weapon, spat back a fury of metal and death. The slugs punched through the weakened armor protecting the Mars' crew compartment, filling the small space with lethal shrapnel and high-velocity munitions.

The death of the enemy tank gave the Star Commander several precious moments to reorient himself and take stock of his situation. The map of the Hell's Horse Industriplex Alpha glowed brightly on his heads up display, and blue triangles showed the approximate location of his star mates. Normally, there would have been four other triangles, but Miguel had been lost in the first exchange of enemy fire. Not that Ax cared much for the miscreant's loss, but his early fall hadn't helped the tide of war.

Axunari tried to focus his pain-ridden mind, to remember the objectives. The Third Guard had been included in the assault force assigned to take the Industriplex Alpha from Clan Hell's Horse. Horse Khan Lair Seidman had returned the Bear's bid of the entire Alpha Galaxy with an equally large force, and battle had quickly been joined.

The Horses' choice of deployment confused Axunari to no end. He could not understand the unusually large proportion of armored vehicles in the Horses' defense force. BattleMechs, and the more recent OmniMech, dominated the modern battlefield, and any commander worth his stripes understood the importance of deploying a large number of 'Mechs. But, in the confined urban arena that was Industriplex Alpha, the Bear assault had been stymied by the Horse armor and infantry. But, despite the setbacks, Ax's star had drawn fire from Khan Seidman's personal guard unit, and that meant the leader of the Hell's Horses could not be far away. And that was his current objective, to locate and destroy the Horses Khan.

Taking a moment to wipe away the mass of blood accumulating along his jaw, Axunari toggled his radio to the frequency shared by his star mates. The year he had spent running training scenarios and simulations had done wonders in molding his star mates into a well-oiled machine. "Charlie Star, move up to Fifth Street. I have enemy contact to the north."

A series of affirmatives from Theron, Jeana, and Lucrezus followed, but a faint squeal quickly proceeded Jeana's transmission, telling Ax that she had switched to their private channel. "Are you okay, Baloo? You have taken quite a beating from those to stravag vehicles."

Axunari bit back his first reply as a wave of vertigo washed through him when he throttled his machine forward. Nearly an hour ago, a lucky barrage of missiles had ripped open his cockpit and the flying shards of metal and glass had flayed his face, though he now realized he probably suffered from more than just a deep cut. "I am fine," he muttered, not sure if his mike picked his voice up.

Forcing the nausea away, Ax stepped his _Kodiak _into a side street and around a warehouse, knowing that in its current, battered state, his 'Mech probably would not appreciate forcing its way through a building. As soon as he rounded the corner, his proximity sensors blared a warning, but it was already too late.

Reeling from a double helping of hyper-velocity nickel-iron, Ax stumbled backwards but a follow up flight of missile fire from the previously hidden Athena battle tank shattered any scrap of balance the Ghost Bear might have had. Giving up the fight with gravity, Ax grabbed the arms of his command chair and gritted his teeth as the assault 'Mech dropped backwards. The warehouse collapsed in a giant cloud of dust and debris as the _Kodiak_ crashed through it, and Axunari tried to shield himself from the brick and wood that poured through his open cockpit.

Even before the dust cleared, Ax heard the rumbling of the Athena as it rolled forward to get a better angle from which it could finish him off. His mind numb from the fall, with blood in his mouth, Ax rolled his _Kodiak_ over, and struggled onto its feet. The Athena came into view, but before Ax could even try for a target lock, a furious stream of man-made lightning exploded against the side of the Athena.

Jeana threw everything her _Timber Wolf D_ carried at the Horse tank. Missile exhaust shrouded her 'Mech as a cloud of short-range missiles attacked the tank like a swarm of raging hornets. Another blast from her particle cannons poured plasma into the open wound on the side of the vehicle, and the hellish energy consumed the extra missile racks. In a thunder explosion, the hull of the Athena expanded before splitting down the side, as fire, smoke, and touched-off munitions soared into the sky.

"Jeana, thanks," Ax gasped through the acrid taste of burning metals and plastics. "But, what about –"

His sibmate cut him off with an angry curse. "To hell with zellbrigen. I am not going to stand back and watch you die."

Before Ax could formulate a response, Theron's unusually calm voice interrupted him. "Star Commander, Horses coming your way. Alpha and Bravo Stars are herding the Seidman to your position. Prepare to intercept."

"Roger that," Ax replied and switched back to the private frequency he shared with Jeana. "But, your honor."

"And to hell with that. We are sibmates, you and I. It would be sinful to let you die. Besides, these are mere vehicles, useless. But, enough, Seidman is here."

Jeana was right. Further down Fifth Avenue, Axunari could see the flashes of laser fire and clouds of missile exhaust. Four of the Horses' best Mechwarriors fought a rearguard action to protect their Khan as they retreated down the street. Ax's radar indicated that only several Bear 'Mechs were pursuing them, and he guessed that the Horses must have put down the rest of Alpha and Bravo Stars. A flash of white and an expanding cloud of plasma told the story of an out of control fusion reactor, and the remaining allied symbols on the radar blinked out of existence.

"Oh, stravag," Ax muttered and triggered his radio. "Charlie Star, we are it. Let's hit Seidman hard!" He throttled his _Kodiak_ to a slow run, and lumbered forward. The hunched-over shape of Jeana's _Timber Wolf_ appeared on his right flank, and both Theron and Lucrezus stepped out from a side street. His star opened up as they entered range, each having chosen a target.

Though out numbered, the opening salvo favored the Ghost Bears. Caught by surprise, Seidman's star lost one of its numbers almost immediately, courtesy of a deadly accurate PPC bolt placed to the Horse's rear. The rest of the Horses recovered quickly, as befit their elite status. The Khan's three guards returned fire on their attackers, while Khan Seidman opened up on Axunari.

As the Khan's _Gargoyle_ walked its fire into the _Kodiak_, Ax knew there wasn't any way he could take down his opponent, not with the damage he had already sustained. Several of his medium lasers had been destroyed, and he was clean out of reloads for his missile rack. His most potent weapon, the class-20 Ultra autocannon, was quickly running dry. Then again, Fortune favored him, and as the Khan cycled his weapons, Ax realized that he was piloting the primary configuration of the _Gargoyle_, a configuration that was notorious for its lack of hard-hitting weapons.

A flight of short-range missiles exploded against his _Kodiak_'s left arm, carrying the limb off at the elbow. Axunari cursed fluently as another wave of nausea washed over him. The gross change in weight from the loss of the limb threatened to overwhelm him, but he fought back the desire to vomit and shifted his 'Mech into a side-twist to bleed off the rotating motion. The burst from his autocannon went wide, gutting a nearby building, but the splattering of his remaining lasers seared gouges into the _Gargoyle_'s ebony hulk.

Around him, his star mates dueled against the Horse warriors. Theron was keeping up with his opponent, matching monstrous _Dire Wolf_'s heavy armor with his superior accuracy. Lucrezus, though, was having a bit of problem, as his lighter-weight _Mad Dog_ staggered against the blistering attacks of the enemy _Hellbringer_. Fortunately, Jeana seemed to almost be toying with her target, exploiting earlier damage and utilizing her _Timber Wolf_'s incredible short-range punch.

For Axunari, though, his fight with the Khan was slowly but surely deteriorating. The constant staccato whine of light autocannon fire pitted what remained of his armor, and the missile flights tore gaping holes in his 'Mech's chest. Ax's aim, whether the result of elevated heat levels, previous damage, or just fatigue, was no where near as accurate as the Khan's. His precious autocannon ate only pavement, while his lasers glanced impotently off the _Gargoyle_'s armored hide.

It wasn't until a swarm of missiles turned his cannon's bore to slag that Axunari realized how outclassed he was. His primary weapon gone, and with only a few lasers at his disposal, the Bear knew the end was near. Alarms began blaring in his cockpit, telling him of destroyed systems and elevated heat levels, but Ax did what he could to focus on grouping his laser shots. The green beams lanced out to chew at the Khan, but seemed to do nothing.

His eyes burning from the smoke bellowing into his cockpit, and his jaw screaming with pain, Axunari suddenly shoved his throttle forward, throwing his _Kodiak_ into a hard run. Khan Seidman, all the while circling his victim and pouring continuous fire into the Bear, paused ever so slightly. The charge took him by surprise, and as Ax rushed him, he renewed his attacks with a vengeance.

Now at pointblank range, and with his 'Mech dying around him, Axunari drew back the _Kodiak_'s remaining arm and threw the metal fist at the Khan. Though he knew physical attacks were seen as highly barbaric and dishonorable, the Ghost Bear knew it was his only remaining chance. The punch's aim was true, and in a shower of metal and glass shards, the skull-like face of the _Gargoyle_ exploded.

Khan Seidman, however, managed to squeeze off a final act of defiance. His autocannon and missiles cored through the _Kodiak_'s chest, ripping apart the fusion engine and setting free the nuclear fires. As Jeana's cry of warning bled through the radio, Axunari's hand flashed down to the yellow-and-black-striped ejection lever. He never knew if he managed to punch out because in that moment fire and smoke erupted around him and consumed him whole.


	4. Chapter 4

**Clan Ghost Bear Headquarters  
Bearclaw, The Kerensky Cluster  
31 May 3046**

The pungent odor of antiseptics and sterilization chemicals greeted Axunari as he slowly blinked his eyes open. At first, he couldn't place where he was, with the white room and pillows behind his head all confusing him. The steady beep of instruments and gush of recycled air was all he could hear. It wasn't until many seconds after waking up that he realized he was lying in a bed of some sickbay.

The Ghost Bear warrior tried sitting up, but found that every single muscle in his body screamed a dull pain. Worse, he couldn't feel his legs, but he chalked that to simply having been off his feet for what was probably a long time. He gradually pieced together why he was in the sickbay as he remembered portions of the past battle. _I must have been unconscious for some time for my legs to fall asleep like this._

A slight movement at the edge of his peripheral vision and the rustling of fabric caught Axunari's attention. He shifted his weight to lean on his arm and turned to his side. Jeana rose from the plastic chair she had been occupying and quickly rushed to the bedside. Her right arm was set in a sling, and concern was written plainly on her face.

"Oh, Baloo! You are awake!" she said quietly as she gently stroked his light-brown hair. "You've been out of it for days. How are you feeling?"

Ax had to clear his mouth several times, his throat scratchy, before he could speak. "Uh, fine, I guess," he replied, his voice cracking. He pointed at the sling. "Your arm…"

"It is nothing." Jeana waved away his concern. She glanced away, and when she looked at him again, Axunari saw tears in her eyes, which was very strange for a Clan warrior. In a soft voice, she said, "Baloo, I'm sorry, so very sorry."

Confused, Ax frowned. "About what? Did we carry the day? We did beat back the Horses, quiaff?"

"No, we did not," came her reply. Upset, Jeana stood and again turned away. After several long moments of silence, she pulled the chair up to the bed and sat. When she spoke again, she was a bit more composed, but not all that much. "No, they pushed us off. But, Baloo, it is not that. It's, it is your legs…"

Even more confused, Ax looked down at where his legs were. Or rather, where they should have been. The white sheets covering him from waist down ended at his knees, and no sign of his legs could be seen. His limbs simply ended after the thighs. The Ghost Bear blinked and tried to will his feet to move. To his surprise, nothing happened. Realization gradually dawned on him, but Axunari stubbornly refused to believe what his eyes and body were telling him.

His legs were gone.

"No. No, this is some foul trickery. No." Ax shook his head, denial flooding his system. This was a dream, he decided. It wasn't real. "My god, this is a trick." He glanced up at Jeana, his eyes begging her to confirm his wish. "Tell me this isn't true."

She simply blinked back her tears and hugged him tightly.

Fists clenching, Ax tried to make sense of this news. He had lost his legs. That meant his career as a Warrior was over. His entire life was done. He couldn't pilot a 'Mech, he couldn't fight, he couldn't be a Warrior. All he could do now was rot away in some lower caste assignment, acting only as a burden to his Clan. _This isn't happening._

Axunari clutched tightly to Jeana's arm, trembling. "Damnit," he muttered, doing what he could to force the trembling to stop. It only got worse. "Damnit!" Axunari squeezed his eyes shut, willing the tears away. He couldn't cry, he couldn't break down. That would be unfit for a Warrior. But, the reality of his situation broke his resolve, and he quietly started sobbing. All of his dreams and aspirations were gone. Though Clan medical technology could replace his legs, the chances of having such radical treatment done on a nobody-warrior like him was nil. He was doomed to live his remaining years as an unproductive member of his Clan.

For some time, Ax simply lay there with Jeana holding him. He had long stopped sobbing, and simply stared ahead, his mind numb and his face blank. Jeana almost seemed asleep, her head lying against his chest. Ax gently stroked her bronze hair, trying to do his best not to think of anything, especially of his injuries. He busied himself with counting the passing seconds.

A knock on the door broke Ax from his reverie and a woman of average height and shockingly blond hair stepped into the room. Jeana quickly pulled back and smoothed down her jumpsuit, while Ax tried to sit up straighter. The two quickly saluted as Khan Ursula Jorgensson entered.

"At ease," she said, her voice at first cold but quickly softened as she saw the extent of Ax's injuries. "So, this is the Khan-slayer, the one who managed to polish off Khan Seidman."

"Yes, sir," Ax replied. He wasn't sure what to make of this visit. In his eyes, he had done nothing that deserved attention. It was the duty of all warriors to fight to the end. "I think that is what happened."

The Khan examined the patient chart hanging at the foot of Ax's bed. "From the battle ROMs, you ran your _Kodiak_ forward and delivered a nice punch through the Khan's canopy. Of course, that was not the most honorable of methods."

"Yes, sir," Ax said again, this time more quietly. His face was hot with shame as he realized that his physical attack was a decidedly dishonorable action in the eyes of Clan honor rules. He slipped even deeper into self-loathing; his crippling and his bled honor now completely destroyed any chance of redemption.

Jorgensson looked up suddenly, a slight smile on her scarred face. "But, I cannot disagree with the efficiency of your choice. Without weapons, there was not much you could do, and it worked. Plus, by slaying the Khan, you gave us a much-needed pause to regroup and rearm. The Clan is always in need of warriors who are willing to put the honor of the Clan above their personal honor. You are one of those warriors, Star Captain."

"Thank you, my Khan," Ax said, though he couldn't find any joy in the praise.

The Khan swung a chair over and sat at Axunari's side. All traces of the high-and-mighty Khan left her voice, and she spoke to Ax warrior to warrior. "Listen, Axunari, I know you are not tracking at the moment. The loss of your legs, that is a major blow. You are probably thinking that your career as a warrior is gone, lost, forever." Ax nodded. "If not for your sacrifice, we could have lost much more than we did on Niles. For that, I have authorized the doctors and medtechs to begin budding you a new pair of legs as soon as possible."

Ax wasn't quite sure if he had heard right. "New legs?"

"Yes, the scientists have assured me that they can clone new legs for you. It will take longer and be more painful than simple artificial replacements, but you will have greater control and will be able to return to full active duty."

"Active duty?" The full import of the Khan's words slowly revealed itself, and Ax felt a small flicker of hope. "When can they begin? How long will this take?"

The Khan's smile blossomed fully. "Preparations will begin when you are ready, but the process will take many months, perhaps nearly a year."

"Thank you, my Khan." The small flame of hope had already grown to be a large fire. "I will do my best to prove myself worthy of your generosity."

Jorgensson stood and returned Ax's salute. "It is my pleasure. May the Kerenskys watch over your recovery, Axunari." She turned to leave, but Ax stopped her. "Yes?"

Something the Khan had said earlier bubbled up into Ax's mind. "My Khan, earlier you addressed me as 'star captain.' I am but a star commander."

"Not anymore," Ursula said. "As soon as you recover, you will test for control of the 219th. Jeana and several others will compete for command of the various stars."

"Thank you again," Ax replied, and Khan Jorgensson left the room. The injured Ghost Bear turned towards Jeana, his smile of relief and joy clearly matching hers. "There is hope. Did you know about this?"

"No, not at all. You see, Baloo? Not everything is always so bleak. There is always hope."

Later, after Jeana had left to attend to other matters, Axunari lay alone in bed. His mind was still elated that his life hadn't come to an end, but there was still that tiny bit of dread and uncertainty. What if he failed the rigors of rehabilitation? The process couldn't be easy, and from what he had heard, it was certainly painful. But, for the first time in two decades, the demons that usually plagued him were quieted. For now, he decided, he would get some rest, recover, and face the trials as they came.


	5. Chapter 5

_Author's Notes:_

_Sorry for the long delay. I got owned by a series of midterms and term papers I had to deal with. Anyways, I'm shooting for -hopefully- two chapters a week, but I doubt I can keep to that schedule. One chapter seems more reasonable, but we'll see. Anyways, as always, comments, suggestions, flames, and so forth are greatly welcome and encouraged! Authors live and die on feedback. :-)_

**  
**

**Alpha Galaxy Headquarters  
Bearclaw, The Kerensky Cluster  
4 August 3046**

Hot, tired, and thirsty, Axunari stumbled forward, forcing his aching body to continue with the day's exercises. Sweat gathered at the tip of his nose before dripping and splashing against the control panel of the treadmill. His breathing was shallow, and he shook his head to clear the sweat gathering in the corners of his eyes. Ax kept his face impassive as each pounding step on the moving rubberized track sent sharp lances of pain through his thighs.

For weeks he had been running this same machine, over and over. Ever since recovering from the budding process that had attached cloned legs back to his knees, Ax had been working hard to retrain his new limbs. Though nearly identical to his previous legs, these new replacements weren't nearly as well muscled, and the learned muscle memory of years of combat training was absent. As such, Ax faced months of rehabilitation.

As he continued to trudge forward, Axunari continued to tell himself that this suffering he was facing was a normal part of life. The excruciating amount of pain at the simplest movement when he had taken his first step was a part of life. The years spent in the sibko under the harsh tutelage of the trainers were a simple part of life. After all, Ax decided, hardship and life were one and the same, and could not be separated. Such was the Clan way.

Axunari tried to remember to that point, years ago, when life had really become more than just hardship. Like all Clan cadets, his life was radically changed when he and his sibmates had hit puberty. Extracted from the care of the nurses, they were sent to the Clan military academies, where they endured hardships and lessons no child should have had to face, for they really were only children at the time. And, even then, those obstacles were nothing compared to the trials he would have to face after that fateful evening.

It was odd that he could remember that evening so vividly. It was in the dead of winter, Ax was sure, because he remembered how the winds howled through the cracks in the dilapidated structure he and his sibmates called home. The night was cold, but he had awoken from a nightmare and had sought the comfort of Jeana.

He recalled that he had climbed out from under the relatively warm covers and crept towards her sleeping form. A gentle nudge, and she woke slowly. "Baloo? What is wrong?" she had said, using the nickname she had given him, a nickname she had given him based off an ancient children's story.

"I don't know," Axunari had replied, so many years ago. "I had another nightmare. The same thing, the loud burst of autocannon, and then a flash." He had always confided in her, trusting her more than his other sibmates. "Maybe, I'm just not cut out to be a warrior."

He still remembered how she was about to respond with that reassuring smile she always had when he would share his concerns, dreams, and aspirations. But, at that moment, what had been a fairly routine life of physical hardship turned into a life of psychological, emotional, and mental hell.

The sound of the flimsy sheet metal door exploding inward would forever be ingrained in Axunari's mind, even more so than those life-or-death moments on the battlefield. Nothing could compare to the dread and terror he had felt at that point in time. Through the swirling snow of Bearclaw's arctic winter, a figure dressed in slate-gray combat fatigues and woolen cloak strode into the barracks. Feet shoulder-width apart, Sibmaster Umar crossed his muscular arms and bellowed, his scar-ridden face contorting with rage. "Cadets, up this instance! Now!"

Axunari had shot to his feet as the other Ghost Bear cadets leapt out of bed, and Jeana had quickly joined him. Umar strode forward, his booted feet making hallow clumps on the metal floor, and had stopped in front of Ax. "Cadet, why were you out of your bunk?" Umar had spat, sending spittle from his mouth.

"I needed to talk to someone," Axunari had replied. Umar had snickered, replying, "About what, Cadet? Or, should I instead call you Baloo?"

"You may call me as you like, sir," Ax had answered. Those words, he later realized, were one of the biggest mistakes he had ever made.

"Is that so, Baloo? Whatever I like?" Axunari clearly remembered the look of utter delight on Umar's deformed face. "Ah, I have it! Freebirth Bastard. Will that suffice, Baloo? Your new name will be Freebirth Bastard. How do you like that, Freebirth Bastard?"

And as Ax recalled, that had been the point where his life had gone to hell. He had replied in the affirmative to his sibmaster, not that he had any alternative choice, and Umar had from that point onward called Ax only by his new name. As if that weren't enough, his sibmaster had cut the sibko's sleep cycle by two hours, citing Ax's lack of sleeping as a sign that they were getting too much rest. That had driven nearly the entire sibko against him, making the next few years almost unbearable.

The bang of the door to the gym slamming shut broke Axunari from his thoughts, and as he turned to see who had entered, he nearly stumbled but managed to catch himself on the treadmill's handlebars. With a clipboard in hand, Doctor Gregor, the man in charge of his recovery, led Jeana across the sparring mats and next to the exercise machines. "You're up early today, Star Captain," the doctor said.

Axunari shut the treadmill off, and grabbing a towel from the rack, greeted his visitors. "Good morning, Doctor. The earlier I am up, the faster I can heal." Ax took a seat on a bench and as Gregor examined his knees, he gave Jeana a smile. "And you, Jeana. How are you doing?"

"I am fine, Ax," she replied as she sat beside him. "You are getting better fast. Everything is going well, I hope?"

"Very well." Ax rubbed his back dry with the towel and tossed it into the waste bin. "Doctor Gregor has me on a strenuous schedule. He says I should be back in fighting trim in a month, two at the latest. But, what brings you here?"

A mock frown on her face, Jeana pretended to look hurt. "What, am I not allowed to come visit you, Baloo? You hurt my feelings." The frown disappeared to be replaced by her customary smile. "Neg, I wanted to see how you are doing. With all the work I have to do in rebuilding the star, I do not have as much free time as I would like. Plus, have you heard the latest news from the Grand Council?"

"Excuse me," Gregor interrupted. "Commander Axunari, so far, you are looking fine. Everything is holding, and if you continue the regimen, all should be good." Ax nodded his thanks to the lower-caste man, and the doctor took his leave.

Turning back to Jeana, Ax shook his head. "No, I have not heard anything new. What are they talking about now?" The Grand Council, he knew, had been undergoing some great debate regarding a return to the Inner Sphere. Though Ax was just as excited as any of his fellow warriors about a possible return to the Promised Land, he was far more concerned with getting back to combat readiness.

"Bah, you should pay more attention to such matters." Jeana stood and led Ax to one of the exercise mats, where she shed her uniform jacket and began to stretch in preparation for some light sparring. Ax followed suit, but knew with his reflexes shot to hell, there would be no contest. "Just the same old talks about invading the Inner Sphere, but this time there are rumors that with Clan Davion has sent out forces in search of the remnants of the Great Founder's fleet."

"Truly?" Ax set himself in a combat stance and threw a short series of punches. Though his strikes were fast and on target, his footwork was slow and unsteady. Jeana managed to deflect and block all of them before coming in low to strike him against the belly.

"Only rumors, Baloo." The two returned to their positions, and Jeana pressed the attack. "The Khans are divided about what to do, but I really do not believe they will do much. All they ever do is talk." Her blows this time were slower, giving Ax a chance at recovering and positioning himself. Even with the handicap, however, he was still sorely lacking speed, and had to concede the point.

"Damn these legs," Ax muttered in frustration. He came in fast, doing his best to make his new legs keep up with the kata he was trying to employ. His strategy of fast strikes seemed to work, as Jeana was forced to give ground and eventually call the point. "How is the rebuilding going?" Ax asked as they rest themselves again.

Jeana struck first with a feint to Ax's abdomen before sending a sudden kick at his face. He had to throw himself backwards to keep from having her foot implant itself on the side of his head. "You are getting slow," Jeana teased. "The star is doing fine. We have two pending transfers from Beta Galaxy to fill the slot you and Miguel will leave vacant. Presuming you get that post of star captain."

"Oh, I will, Jeana," Ax promised. "Do not worry about that." The two continued to spar, and after several more rounds, Ax had to stop. "Yeah, these legs, I need a break," he said with a light laugh that came from both humor and frustration. "I am getting old."

His sibmate chuckled and helped him up from the ground, where she had sent him with a well-placed kick to the chest. "You are doing fine. You will be back in a 'Mech in no time." She tossed Ax a towel and glanced at the wall-mounted clock. "Well, I still have some time left. Grab a shower and then some food?"

"That sounds good," Ax replied and with a slight limp, followed Jeana out of the gym.


	6. Apologies

_Author's Notes: Sorry for the lack of updates. Real Life has been busy lately, what with exams and papers having been due. Plus, I just got a Wacom Tablet, so I'm having fun messing with that. I'm also well aware that I'm failing miserably with that goal of updating at least once a week. _

_That being said, updates will be sporadic during December. I've got finals this week, plus I'm heading out of town for about two weeks during mid-December. Finally, there are some elements to the story that need to be addressed, such as direction, lack of a clear antagonist, and so forth._

_I've got the outline and idea of the next portion complete; I just need to write it, so it should be up within the next couple of days. Again, my apologies and thank you for staying with me for so long. :-)  
_


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